


serendipity

by loonaloves



Category: LOONA (Korea Band)
Genre: F/F, Soulmate AU, chuuves - Freeform
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-07-14
Updated: 2018-07-14
Packaged: 2019-06-10 06:23:45
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 9
Words: 13,156
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15285618
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/loonaloves/pseuds/loonaloves
Summary: Everybody has a soulmate. That's how life works. But what happens when there is a fault in the system, and you are not assigned a soulmate?





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> hi guys!! this was my first fic i made and if you don't like this i'd recommend my newer writings!! anyway, i've decided to finally make an ao3 after only using wattpad for so long, so i'm going to post my wp fics on here as well. (i'm chuufics on wp !)

There was always something missing from Jiwoo's life, something that she knew guaranteed her a hopeless future. She looked down at her wrist, the one that supposed to have her soulmate mark. She ran her thumb over the pale skin, clean from any markings. She sighed, there will always be a fault in the system.

"And luckily, it had to be me," she groaned to herself. Your soulmate was supposed to have the same mark as you, that's how you knew they were yours. Yours to love forever, to hold, to cherish. The sappy stuff. 

Jiwoo threw a pillow at the wall, "I hate love." Her back laid flat against the bed as she thought about her future. All those cheesy romance movies that she couldn't deny were cute was fully taking over her mind, and that's all she wanted to forget.

After a couple minutes of crying and rethinking everything leading up to this point, Jiwoo could finally hear her phone ringing. In fact, ringing a lot. She quickly stopped moping and sat up, rushing to grab her phone from the nightstand beside her.

"Hello??" Jiwoo held the phone tightly against the side of her face.

"Oh my god, Jiwoo, I thought you were fucking dead. Where the hell were you?? Why couldn't you pick up the damn phone, I've been calling for the past-"

"Chaewon, please. Chill. I was busy," she cut Chaewon off, blatantly lying, but she could see right through her.

"Do you mean crying over not having a soulmate again?" Chaewon rolled her eyes. "Really, you gotta get over that. Where's crying over it going to get you in life?" Chaewon attempted making Jiwoo feel better, but with no prevail.

"Where am I going to get in life without a soulmate?! Chae, you know how much I love, well, love. But I'm a hopeless romantic, literally," Jiwoo sighed into the phone, throwing herself back onto the mattress, ready to start moping again.

"Jiwoo, I swear if you start getting all depressing with me again I'm hanging up," Chaewon threatened, to which Jiwoo laughed.

"Don't worry," Jiwoo forces a smile, although Chaewon couldn't see. "I'm glad you called, it helps take things off my mind."

Chaewon chuckled lightly, "Anyway, back to the actual reason I called." Jiwoo listened carefully, expecting something around a serious topic, ready to give Chaewon her advice. "I want to order pizza but I don't have anyone to come with me, so..." Chaewon elongated the last word, already knowing Jiwoo's answer.

"Are you kidding me? You called for this?" Jiwoo laughed. "But yeah, pizza sounds good right now."

"That's good, because I'm already almost at your house, so you should probably wait outside for me. I'll be there in like, five minutes."

"Oh, god, alright, see you then," Jiwoo hung up and ran to her drawers, throwing on proper clothes and discarding her Hello Kitty t-shirt onto the floor that she only wore to sleep. She didn't even have time to brush her hair completely before hearing Chaewon's car beeping outside the window.

"Yeah, yeah, I'm coming," Jiwoo grunted under her breath while running down the stairs, tying her hair up in a very messy bun. She ran out the door and into Chaewon's car, almost out of breath.

"Jesus, Jiwoo. You took, like, two steps," she made fun of her heavy breathing, laughing at her. "Didn't I tell you just to wait out here for me? I think that would've been easier..."

"Shut up," Jiwoo bit back a smile.

Chaewon laughed, "Okay." She turned on the radio, blasting music throughout the car as the two of them sang their hearts out to the songs. As they did so, Jiwoo couldn't help but notice the mark on Chaewon's wrist. So tiny, so simple, yet so powerful. She forced her eyes off of her, but even then she couldn't stop thinking about it. Luckily, they arrived at the restaurant soon and Jiwoo's only thoughts consisted of her empty stomach.

They walked in together, holding each other's hands. They always did this, hold each other's hands. But this time, it almost felt wrong. That she shouldn't be holding her hand, that it should be her soulmate doing that. She sighed, slightly loosening her grip, but not letting go. She was too scared to let go.

They sat down at one of the tables, planning their order. "Wanna just split a large pizza?" Chaewon offered, pulling her hair behind her ear.

"Sure," Jiwoo accepted, looking at their interlocked fingers that sat on the table. Jiwoo's sweatshirt was pulled over her wrist so her mark, or lack  thereof, could not be seen. She traced circles on the back of Chaewon's hand, slow and gentle. She could feel her warmth, the warmth that she craved so much. That she wanted to be all hers. But that was wrong, Chaewon has a soulmate. It was wrong to hold her hand like this.

But if it was wrong, why does it feel so right? She couldn't seem to pull away, rather choosing to bask in Chaewon's touch. God, if Chaewon knew what was going through Jiwoo's mind right now, she'd certainly get slapped.

"Hey, Chae," Jiwoo looked up at her, a small smile planted on her lips. "Wanna bring the pizza to the park, and just eat there? I want to go there with you," She offered, knowing that there was a more significant reason behind it. They always went to the park together, since they were young. It became a place for them two, a place where they could forget all the rules and just be happy with each other. Their parents didn't like one another, so they didn't let them hang out with each other. But they always found a way back to each other, always.

"Yeah," Chaewon smiled. "We can do that, let's get delivery and go." She stood up and lead Jiwoo over to the counter, where they delivered their pizza.

Jiwoo carried the box into the car, helplessly reaching into it and grabbing a slice. "Jiwoo!" Chaewon slapped the other's shoulder, laughing. "You couldn't wait until we got to the park!"

Jiwoo laughed at her, putting the pizza in front of Chaewon's mouth, allowing her a bite. Chaewon accepted it, chewing happily while driving to their destination. Jiwoo took the slice back and bit it, looking ahead as Chaewon's car came to a stop.

It was almost completely dark outside, the stars and moon overhead illuminating the grassy field. Chaewon came out of the car with the pizza box in her hands, Jiwoo following. She looked at Chaewon under the moonlight, still so beautiful. Fuck, stop thinking. She's your best friend.

"Jiwoo?" Chaewon called, looking into her eyes. Jiwoo blinked, attempting to shake the thoughts away.

"Yeah?"

"You okay? You were kinda looking at me... weird," Chaewon says, the corners of her lips peeking up.

Jiwoo nervously pulled a strand of hair behind her ear, "Oh.. yeah," she awkwardly laughed.

Chaewon sat down on the grass, motioning for Jiwoo to follow. "But you're okay though, right?" She asked again.

Jiwoo sat down next to her, with little space separating the two of them. She took Chaewon's hand into her own once again and squeezed it. "I just," she sighed. "I want to be honest with you. Chae... God, how do I say this?" Jiwoo feared the words that were about to come out of her mouth, not thinking clearly. How would Chaewon see her after this? Will they still be able to talk? What if she makes things awkward between them?

But there was no going back now, "I think I'm falling in love with you."

Chaewon looked shocked, and Jiwoo instantly regretted it. She opened her mouth, but the words didn't come out. They were stuck in her throat, and so desperately she wanted to say, I am too, Jiwoo. I am falling for you, too.

But it was wrong, she knew it. She already has a soulmate, and she can't just betray them like this. She doesn't know what to say, what to tell Jiwoo. Because truly, she felt herself falling, too. And that's what scared her. She wasn't supposed to fall for someone who wasn't her soulmate, it's wrong, against the rules of nature.

"Jiwoo, I..." She finds the words, but continues to stutter. "I t-think I'm falling for you, too. And that scares me. It scares me so much, Jiwoo. It scares me that I can look at you and feel butterflies in my stomach, that I can get so lost in your eyes." Jiwoo didn't expect these words at all, and she was smiling, until Chaewon pulled her hand out of Jiwoo's.

"But you know the rules. We can't fall for each other, we're not soulmates," Chaewon states, clearly saddened by the words coming out her own mouth. "We can't be together..."

"Who cares about the rules, Chae?!" Jiwoo says, hand finding its way onto Chaewon's shoulder. "When have we ever played by the rules? Why don't we break them, show everybody that love isn't limited to some... assigned person. We don't have to do what they say, we don't have to do what society wants... Chaewon, look at me." Chaewon lifts her head to meet Jiwoo's eyes. Why couldn't she just accept Jiwoo's offers, like she so badly wanted to.

Instead of thinking, Chaewon removed the space between them, lips connecting with each other. The kiss was uncertain at first, but Chaewon gained confidence once Jiwoo kissed back.

Jiwoo could feel her chest tighten, not thinking straight. All she could think about right now was Chaewon's lips on hers, connecting so sweetly. It felt so right, like puzzle pieces being put together. She tasted like strawberries, sweet, ripe, strawberries. But it didn't last long, when Chaewon pulled away.

"Jiwoo..." She bit her lip in attempt to stop her eyes from welling. "We can't. We can't fall in love. I'm sorry..." Chaewon stood up, leaving the pizza box on the ground. She backed away slowly, as if she was scared of Jiwoo, when really, she was scared of what she would allow herself to do if she stayed by her side any longer. "I think we should give each other some space for a little... Let our minds clear... I'm sorry, Jiwoo, but no matter how much my heart wants it, we can't be together."

Jiwoo watched as Chaewon entered her car and drove off, only allowing the tears to fall when Chaewon was gone.

And suddenly, Jiwoo hated the taste of strawberries.


	2. coffee

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> after experiencing harsh heartbreak from one of the few people she trusted with her feelings, jiwoo meets sooyoung.

Three weeks. It's been three weeks, and Chaewon is still ignoring all Jiwoo's messages, calls, her anything. Jiwoo's eyes are bloodshot from all the crying she has done, her face felt so sore.

"God dammit!" She punched the pillow that lie next to her, and somehow, ever since Chaewon left, she always found herself going back there. Sinking back into her mattress, the same place she has moped over not having a soulmate. But now, having a soulmate is the last thing she mopes about. Now, she only has tears for Chaewon.

Why couldn't she see? Why couldn't she see that Jiwoo cared so deeply for her, that she would do anything for her? All their lives they have broken the rules, so what's the difference now? Was Jiwoo just that unloveable, too disgusting to love?

No matter how many days passed, Chaewon was still the only thing occupying Jiwoo's mind. Isn't time supposed to heal? Didn't Chaewon say that giving each other space will help them forget? Jiwoo laughed melancholily, well it didn't work.

She doesn't know how she ends up calling Chaewon again, but here she is, the ringer of her phone teasing her as she chews on her fingernails.

But to her surprise, the other line picks up, "Jiwoo..." Jiwoo doesn't know when the last time she heard Chaewon's voice was, but hearing it again was like a drug, intoxicating and addictive. But her voice has lost her sweet, soft tone, and, like Jiwoo's, sounds broken, as if she, too, has been crying all this time.

"Chaewon," Jiwoo says, breath taken away. "You don't know how good it feels to hear your voice again..." When Chaewon doesn't respond, Jiwoo continues. "Look, um, about the other night-"

"No, Jiwoo. I don't want to think about that... Can we just... Forget about it? Just act like it never happened, okay? You're my best friend, and you know how much I'd hate to lose you," those words went straight to Jiwoo's heart, completely breaking it in two. 

Nonetheless, Jiwoo shakily exhales and gives in, "Yeah. Let's do that." Although the conversation was held over the phone, Jiwoo swears that Chaewon was smiling.

"I don't know what I'd do without you, Jiwoo," She says, trying to lighten the mood. 

"Me either, Chae," Jiwoo's hand shakes, gripping the phone tighter as if it was Chaewon's hand, trying to reach her one last time before she truly gone away. "Me either."

Jiwoo hung up, not able to take anymore of Chaewon's words. It felt like the world was collapsing around Jiwoo, and she laughed grimly.

"You finally did it, Chae..." Jiwoo says, body shaking as she feels her eyes sting again. "You finally broke me."

Jiwoo held her phone tightly in her hand, her tear-stained face reflecting off the screen. Everything else seemed so inferior to what was happening right now, what she was holding in her hand. She looked at Chaewon's picture, the two of them smiling, so happy with each other. It will never be the same, Jiwoo knows this. She ruined their friendship.

Why couldn't she just keep her mouth shut? Her jaw clenched, hand gripping the phone so tight it could break it into pieces and shatter it completely. Quickly, she let the phone slip out of her grasp before she was able to do so, hands finding their way into her hair instead, pulling at her scalp.

"Stupid," Jiwoo mutters to herself. "Stupid, I'm so fucking stupid." She feels like screaming but her voice doesn't seem to reach over a whisper, becoming more faint as she scolded herself. She pulled the covers over her head, crying herself to sleep.

\--

Jiwoo's alarm awakened her from her sleep, as she hit the clock harshly to stop the annoying buzzes. She rubbed her face, dry tear stains all over it. She sighed, getting up from the only comforting place she now had to get ready for work.

She put on her uniform and tied her hair back, groggily going to her car. She groaned once she entered it, the smell of coffee filling her nose. She leaned back into her seat, loosely grabbing the steering wheel and driving slowly to work. 

The cafe that she worked at was relatively small, on the suburban side of the city, so usually it wasn't crowded. There also weren't too many people, so the job wasn't very demanding of Jiwoo, which she appreciated.

"Good morning, Jiwoo!" Her overly-cheerful manager greeted her, trademark smile planted across her face.

"Morning, Viian," She lazily replied, stepping behind the counter to start her job.

"Hey, are you alright?" Viian asked her, fixing up a cup of coffee. "You've been a little off the past few weeks. If you need a break, you can just tell me." 

She seemed genuinely concerned for her, but the last thing that Jiwoo wanted to speak of was why she was really upset, so she forced an excuse quickly, "Oh, don't worry, I'm fine. It's just that my dog is, uh, sick. Yeah, really sick, doctors say she might need to undergo surgery."

For a split second, you could see the disbelief on Viian's face. But, nonetheless, she gave her sorrow to Jiwoo.

"I'm so sorry, that must be hard..." She says. "Thank you for telling me. If anything happens to your... Um, dog, just tell me," Viian says as she leaves the room.

Jiwoo exhaled as if she had been holding her breath. She doesn't even have a dog, let alone a sick one! Viian could obviously see right through Jiwoo, so why didn't she say anything? Gosh, Jiwoo was lucky to have such a kind manager, or else she would've been better off dead by now.

The day goes by slowly, with coffees and lattes and teas and everything in between being made by Jiwoo for the customers. She knew most of their names by now, as most of the people who went to the cafe were regular visitors. The door opens and Jiwoo's eyes swung to the customer, who she hasn't seen before. She walked up to the counter with a bright smile, and Jiwoo seemed almost distracted by her beauty.

Her long, dark hair was pushed to either side of her shoulders, her eyes scanning the menu overhead. Her eyes were luxurious and beautiful, and Jiwoo wonders if she is a tourist. Her fashion sense is just as glamorous as her face, wearing a white blouse with black jeans. It was so simple, yet so stunning.

"Hello," the girl speaks. "Could I just get a regular macchiato? With almond milk, please," She flashes her million-dollar-smile again. It's infectious, as Jiwoo seems to find herself smiling, too, perhaps just as brightly. She almost forgets the fact that she hasn't smiled genuinely in weeks, that a complete stranger had this kind of affect on her.

"Yep, I'm on it. Your name?"

"Sooyoung," She complied. "My name is Sooyoung."


	3. sooyoung

"Sooyoung," Jiwoo repeated. "I like it."

Sooyoung's smile never left her face, and Jiwoo found that her's hadn't, either. She stepped away from her in order to make her drink, yet she could still feel Sooyoung's eyes on her, probably accompanied with her smile, too.

She poured the macchiato into the cup, getting out a sharpie and uncapping it. She wrote the girl's name on the cup, Sooyoung, and looked back up at her, now distracted by her phone. Jiwoo could tell she was texting someone and felt a pang of, what was it- jealousy? No, she just met the girl. In fact, barely knew her. But she was looking down at her phone, so happy, she must have been texting her soulmate. Of course. Why else would she have been so smiley?

Jiwoo's grip on the cup tightened, but quickly loosened again as she realized she was at her workplace, she had to be professional. "Your order, miss," Jiwoo smiled at her. Sooyoung looked up and nodded her head in appreciation, taking the cup. 

Before she could leave, Jiwoo spoke again, "Who's that?" Jiwoo pointed her attention to Sooyoung's phone, forcing a smile. Gosh, why is she asking this? It's none of her business. But she didn't know how to shut her mouth, "Soulmate?"

Sooyoung laughed nervously, "Ah, no, actually. It's my friend, Yerim." Jiwoo could feel her face burning up, immediately embarrassed by her early assumptions.

"Oh," It was Jiwoo's turn to laugh nervously, now. "I think I know her, actually."

"Yeah, she was the one who told me about this cafe. She told me the drinks here were sooo much better than the drinks at Starbucks, which is normally my go-to," Sooyoung started, pushing her phone into her jean pocket. "She had compliments about the staff, too. That they were nice, and really pretty," She blushed, her voice hushing at the last part.

Jiwoo laughed at her sudden shyness, "Well, was she wrong?" She leaned over the counter a bit subconsciously, wanting to get closer to her. Her fragrance was appealing, floral and very sweet. It was so strong, leaving Jiwoo intoxicated as she rested her chin into her hand.

Sooyoung looked down at the floor, still smiling, "Mmm, I dunno yet... Maybe you can help make up my mind by sharing a table with me." Sooyoung made eye contact with Jiwoo, her smile blinding.

Jiwoo was surprised by her straightforwardness, but who was she to turn down such an offer? She walked around the counter to meet Sooyoung, who was leading Jiwoo to a table of choice. It was right by the window, and Jiwoo hadn't noticed the pouring rain outside until she was sitting down. She looked at the clock, it was 7:00PM. The cafe is supposed to be closed now, but Jiwoo allows it.

The windows were semi-fogged, and rain droplets collected on them. The sidewalks gathered puddles of the rainwater, as pedestrians walked around them, umbrellas in their hands. The sound of cars passing by mixed with the pit-pattering of the rain, and with Sooyoung seated across from her, the moment felt surreal, as if it jumped out of a movie.

Sooyoung was staring at Jiwoo as she was admiring the environment. She would have done the same, but Jiwoo's beauty was more serene than anything else in view. Her hands wrapped around her cup, still hot, yet sipping it anyways, the slight burn of her tongue didn't seem to bother her.

Jiwoo's head turned back to Sooyoung as she met her stare, finding her eyes once again. "It really is pretty outside, huh?" Sooyoung said to Jiwoo. Besides the two of them, the cafe was completely empty. "But it's kinda funny, how you're still the prettiest thing I see." Jiwoo blushed at Sooyoung's words, not knowing how to respond, so Sooyoung continued. "I never got your name," She looked at Jiwoo fidgeting with her hands.

"I'm Jiwoo," she smiled at the girl, and at the fact that now she was the shy one, when only minutes ago it was Sooyoung smiling shyly at the ground.

"Jiwoo," Sooyoung put her cup down, already finished. "Guess I should probably get going, huh?" She looked out the window, now completely dark outside. Jiwoo didn't want the girl to leave, she wanted her to stay, she wanted her company. Despite just meeting her, she really did feel connected with her.

Jiwoo almost didn't realize herself reaching for Sooyoung's hand, offering help out of her seat. She almost didn't realize herself walking her back to her car, holding Sooyoung's hand tightly in her own, their bodies close enough to each other to feel the other's body heat radiating onto them. She almost didn't realize herself smiling all the ride home in her car, thinking about Sooyoung. She almost didn't realize she was getting over Chaewon, forgetting the feeling that used to erupt in her stomach whenever she thought of her, forgetting the way she used to get lost in her eyes. She almost didn't realize she was drifting off to sleep and not having to think about her hopeless love life, and Chaewon's rejection to her. Almost.

But her phone screen lit up her room, beaming its light onto Jiwoo's face. Jiwoo blinked a few times and finally squinted to read it, jaw becoming slack and mouth an o.

**Twelve missed calls from Chaewon**

**Chaewon: hello??**

**Chaewon: jiwoo??**

**Chaewon: i know i hurt you, i'm sorry**

**Chaewon: i was just scared**

**Chaewon: please pick up**

**Chaewon: jiwoo**

**Chaewon: god, you're really not gonna help me out here, are you?**

**Chaewon: the other night, i meant what i said**

**Chaewon: and, god, i thought separation would help but look at me now,**

**Chaewon: hopelessly texting you, and being ignored...**

**Chaewon: can you just please pick up? i don't know how else to say this, god...**

**Chaewon: jiwoo, i think i'm in love with you**


	4. chaewon

Jiwoo's phone fell out of her hands, as she began to shake again. No, no, this can't be real. She wanted so badly to smile and be happy with Chaewon's confession, but she just couldn't. She wanted to feel those butterflies in her stomach, to feel her chest become tight with the affection she had towards her, but she didn't. She should have felt something, the person she was falling in love with for so long just confessed their true feelings for her, but those feelings she used to get... They were gone, no matter how hard she tried to feel it again.

She thought about the kiss they shared, how Chaewon tasted so sweet, how her lips enclosed around Jiwoo's. Jiwoo closed her eyes to imagine it better, but every time she closed her eyes she could only see her. The girl she met just today at the cafe, the girl she barely knew. Fuck, just think about Chae! Sooyoung doesn't- no, don't even think about Sooyoung right now.

She closed her eyes so hard tears began to form, but they wouldn't escape. She doesn't have tears for Chaewon anymore, as she once did. Her hands didn't grasp the phone tightly as if it was Chaewon's hand anymore. Her breathing didn't hitch at the thought of loving Chaewon anymore. In fact, nothing happened when she thought of loving Chaewon anymore. Her feelings, the ones that were once so strong, the ones that kept her in Jiwoo's thoughts all day, the ones that made her world seem as if it revolved around Chaewon, were gone. And she couldn't get them back. They were gone, for good.

Jiwoo didn't know how to address this, how to tell Chaewon her feelings dissolved. She tried once more to feel something, anything towards Chaewon that would help her situation, but it only made her realize more that her feelings were gone.

"Chaewon... I'm sorry," Jiwoo apologized into her hands that covered her face, ashamed, as if Chaewon would be able to hear her. She picked up her phone once more, and reread Chaewon's one-sided conversation to Jiwoo over and over again. She sighed, guess it wasn't the only one-sided thing, now.

She knew ignoring these messages would come back to her, but what was there to say? Oh, I'm sorry, I'm over you. Jiwoo didn't have the heart to say that, nor the courage. She felt her chest collapse in disappointment, all she ever wanted was for Chaewon to say those words, to say them without any rejections, but as soon as it happens, Jiwoo feels nothing towards her. What happened? What was happening to Jiwoo? Because whatever it is, she didn't like it. Three weeks ago, if this same thing happened, Jiwoo would have had already been at Chaewon's house by now, holding her close and kissing her over and over. But today isn't three weeks ago, today is today. And something happened today, something that made Jiwoo scared, as it was so unfamiliar. So unfamiliar, to not have a romantic interest in the one person you've been interested in your whole life. So unfamiliar, so unsettling.

Jiwoo slid the covers over her head, looking down at her non-marked wrist, "Love is stupid."

\--

Jiwoo woke up the next morning, Chaewon still on her mind, but not in the way she wanted. She woke up an hour before her alarm went off, but Jiwoo never wakes up early. She tried drifting back to sleep, but it just wouldn't work. Her eyes couldn't close peacefully, her mind couldn't stay focused on anything other than the words Chaewon said last night.

This had to mean something, right? That she couldn't get Chaewon off her mind because she still loved her, right? No, Jiwoo cringed partly at the thought of no longer loving her, but mostly at the thought of ruining their friendship.

Jiwoo couldn't think about this, no, not when she has work in thirty minutes. She got up from her bed and pulled on her uniform, put her hair up, did everything else she had to do to get ready, and went off to her car.

When she arrived at the cafe, the scene from last night played in her mind again. The rain that fell onto the earth so peacefully, the sidewalk puddles that were now mostly dried up, the street lights reflecting into them. Jiwoo walked into the workplace. The way Sooyoung's fingers interlocked with hers as she walked her to her car, the rain still pouring around them. She shook her head, trying to shake away the thoughts in order to avoid distraction as her manager came to greet her, as usual.

"Good morning, Jiwoo! You look really happy today, is your dog okay?" Viian gave a warm smile to Jiwoo.

"Huh?" Jiwoo was caught off guard by the weird question, until she remembered the excuse she gave Viian yesterday. "Oh, yeah, my dog! He's good, yeah, thanks for asking. Turns out he won't need that surgery."

Viian placed a hand onto Jiwoo's shoulder briefly, "Oh, that's good, because I brought you some dog toys for him..." She went in the door behind the counter and came out with a small box of dog toys. Jiwoo's mouth slightly agape, thinking of how to get out of this. But of course, she couldn't.

"My dog grew out of them, doesn't use them anymore. So, I figured that rather having them go to waste, I could lend them to you!" Viian stretched her arms out so Jiwoo could grab the box.

"Thanks, Viian, but do you think we could keep it in that room for now? I'll pick it up before I leave, don't worry," Jiwoo held the box in her arms, planning to just leave the box in the storage room overnight.

Viian smiled, as if she was helping Jiwoo out, "You can keep it in your car, I'll let you go back to put in in." It was more of a demand than an offer, so Jiwoo quickly found herself going back to her car and placing the box in the passenger seat.

"What the fuck am I going to do with these?" She whispered to herself in disbelief, hand on her hip with a slight shake of her head. She walked back into the cafe, smiling.

"Jiwoo," a voice called from behind her. "Jiwoo, I'm sorry I wasn't here yesterday, I have midterms at school and I had to-"

"Hyunjin, don't worry. I got it in control," Jiwoo placed both her hands on the younger girl's shoulder to comfort her. She noticed Hyunjin wasn't wearing her uniform, so she probably wasn't planning on working. She did part-time in the afternoons, though, so there was really no reason to be here.

"I'll make it up to you, I promise," Hyunjin started, worried that she overworked Jiwoo when she didn't arrive yesterday. "I can do all the work today, you can just... Do whatever you want, I guess."

"Don't you have school today?" Jiwoo said, looking up at the clock that read 6:45AM. That meant school started in an hour for Hyunjin, and especially having it be midterm week, Jiwoo would rather do all the work while Hyunjin completes her tests and studies.

"Yeah but-"

"No, Hyunjin. I want you to go to school," Jiwoo smiled softly. "Go to school and kill those midterms! I believe in you!"

Hyunjin looked hesitant about the idea, but knew that Jiwoo was only trying to help her, "Okay, I'll go."

Jiwoo watched Hyunjin hurry out of the cafe after noticing the time. "Good luck on those exams!" Jiwoo shouted out as Hyunjin left, waving to Jiwoo through the window.

Since Jiwoo was the only other bartender there, she was doing all the work again. But, since most of the customers they get are students returning from school, there was not too many people to serve.

The day went by slowly for Jiwoo, as she looked back up at the clock. 9:50AM. How has it only been two hours? She sighed, there were no customers at the moment, and doing anything was better than doing nothing, so she grabbed a table cleaner and a washing rag and stepped over to the tables, polishing them. They were already, for the most part, clean, with the few exceptions of the remains of coffee stains or scratches that couldn't get washed off.

Jiwoo started humming to herself, to the beat of a song that she heard on the radio this morning. She had always loved singing, and dreamed of becoming a singer since she was a little girl. It's what made cleaning tables so bearable, as she could hear her soft voice fill the empty room. She span around, going over to clean the next table with a bit more pep in her step. She tapped her toes and swayed her hips to the song, smiling.

Jiwoo immediately froze and paused her movements when she turned around and noticed the girl a few steps behind her, who was singing along to the song Jiwoo was humming. She blushed when Jiwoo noticed her, "Sorry, I couldn't help myself, I love that song," She smiled, as Jiwoo's mind finally cleared from the prior embarrassment. It was Sooyoung, singing along to the song, which Jiwoo didn't even notice until she remembered dancing to the lyrics she thought were playing in her head. She was mentally punching herself right now, beyond embarrassed at the sudden interaction between the two of them.

"You... You have a really pretty voice, Sooyoung," Jiwoo complimented the girl, who smiled at her words.

"I could say the same to you, Jiwoo," her name fell out of Sooyoung's mouth so smoothly, she liked how it sounded coming from her. "Except I only got to hear your hums."

Jiwoo smiled shyly at the ground,   
pushing her hair behind her ear. She felt Sooyoung's hand slide into her own, "Can you sing for me?" Sooyoung asked Jiwoo.

Jiwoo looked up at Sooyoung in awe, surprised she wanted to hear her sing, "Ah, I'm actually not a good singer..." Jiwoo states, wanting to look away from Sooyoung's eyes, yet not being able to. It was like she could see the entire universe in them, they were bright and had sparkles in them, which added to her bubbly smile.

"What are you talking about? Don't you like to sing?"

"I- uh,"

Sooyoung gripped Jiwoo's hand tighter, "I'm sure you're a great singer, Jiwoo. I want to hear your voice, I want to hear you sing. Can you sing that song? The song you were just humming? It sounded beautiful... I can only imagine how it would sound with your actual voice."

Jiwoo inhaled sharply at the compliments being given to her, as she gathered her breath, "Okay." She closed her eyes, and inhaled once more, scared for Sooyoung's reaction. What if it didn't live up to her expectations? Nevertheless, she began to sing. It was soft at first, but once she opened her eyes again and saw that Sooyoung was enjoying her voice, she gained confidence.

Sooyoung watched Jiwoo sing with admiration in her eyes. Jiwoo's voice was truly breathtaking, so beautiful. Her voice was clear, it was soft and sweet.

Once Jiwoo was done, the smile Sooyoung always wore grew impossibly brighter, as she applauded the girl's performance. Jiwoo smiled back at Sooyoung, not noticing until now how close the two were standing together, how both hands were held in one another's, hanging loosely at their sides. Jiwoo held Sooyoung's hands tighter, afraid that she'd somehow escape if she let go. Sooyoung leaned forward so that their foreheads were touching, as they both looked down at the floor, basking in each other's touch.

Jiwoo didn't notice when the door flew open, when Chaewon stepped in with a bouquet of flowers in her hands, knowing that Jiwoo would be at work.

Chaewon's mouth fell open as she saw the scene, as she saw Jiwoo's hands interlocked with someone else's, too close to one another for Chaewon's liking. The bouquet fell out of her hands as tears silently streamed down her face, running out of the cafe.


	5. chaewon (bonus)

Chaewon's phone screen was the only thing that provided light in her otherwise pitch black room. The light reflected onto her face as her eyes were glued to it, calling Jiwoo relentlessly, over and over again.

"C'mon, Jiwoo, pick up," Chaewon whined, both hands holding onto her phone. The longer Jiwoo ignored her, the more time it gave Chaewon to think about that night, where this whole damn thing started. How Chaewon left Jiwoo, after they both told each other they were falling for one another. She thought separation would help her forget, forget Jiwoo's touch, Jiwoo's lips, and the way it made her feel.

Those three weeks were torture, pure torture. For some reason, giving Jiwoo space wasn't helping Chaewon at all, only making her situation worse. So much worse, Chaewon was so scared of allowing these feelings to escape from inside her heart. She had been falling for Jiwoo for some time now, but nothing could have prepared Chaewon for when she finally fell, and she fell hard. No matter how hard she tried to ignore the cave in her chest because of the loss of Jiwoo, realization was inevitable. Her legs were shaking, she felt so nauseous as she finally came to terms with her feelings, allowing them to erupt inside her chest.

_Fuck, I'm in love with Jiwoo._

As soon as Chaewon admitted this to herself, she had been calling Jiwoo, hoping it wasn't too late, that she would forgive her. That maybe she, too, has fallen.

But by the way Chaewon was being ignored, it seemed as if Jiwoo had already forgotten about her. Chaewon's heart clenched at the thought, as she immediately began tapping her  thumbs against the keyboard, hoping Jiwoo would see the messages.

**Chaewon: hello??**

**Chaewon: jiwoo??**

**The messages delivered, yet remained unread, only causing Chaewon to panic more.**

**Chaewon: i know i hurt you, i'm sorry**

**Chaewon: i was just scared**

**Chaewon: please pick up**

**Chaewon couldn't feel the tears streaming down her cheeks as her thumbs furiously tapped against the screen, wanting to gain Jiwoo's attention somehow, as if texting at a faster pace would grant that.**

**Chaewon: jiwoo**

**Chaewon: god, you're really not gonna help me out here, are you?**

**Chaewon sniffled, finally wiping her face as she noticed tear droplets landing on her phone screen, getting in the way of her messaging. Her forearm shakily sliding against her face, collecting the salty substance coming from her eyes. She brought her hands back to the screen to finish typing.**

**Chaewon: the other night, i meant what i said**

**Chaewon: and, god, i thought separation would help but look at me now,**

**Chaewon: hopelessly texting you, and being ignored...**

**Chaewon: can you just please pick up? i don't know how else to say this, god...**

Chaewon didn't want to confess like this, she wanted to be in Jiwoo's arms, as her own wrapped around Jiwoo. She wanted her face to be buried in her shoulder, where she would sometimes lay when she gets tired. She wanted to be at the park, where her previous opportunity of confession was ruined. She wanted the only thing that illuminated the two of them to be the stars that sat above them, dancing around in the sky. She wanted it to be then, when she told her this. Not when they were so far apart, no where in each other's reach. But at this point, Chaewon wonders if Jiwoo would even run into her arms anymore, or if she really has forgotten about the affection Chaewon thought they had once shared.

Her hands were so shaky that every word became a jumble of random letters, having to erase and retype, erase and retype, erase and retype repeatedly. Her jaw was chattering in fear of what Jiwoo would think after this, after she knew Chaewon has completely fallen, and unable to pull herself out. She exhaled shakily, as her finger hovered over the send button. Chaewon closed her eyes, forcing her finger to press hesitantly down on the screen.

**Chaewon: jiwoo, i think i'm in love with you  
read 12:16AM**

Chaewon felt her heart being ripped out of her chest, her vulnerability getting the best of her. Her body froze up completely, becoming so numb and unresponsive. She felt herself grow limp, her bones felt like wire, as she collapsed onto her mattress, tears immediately finding its way onto her pillow.

\--

Chaewon doesn't exactly know how, but she finds herself in a flower shop, browsing through the selection of bouquets. She wanted the prettiest flower arrangement, one that's own beauty reflected Jiwoo's, if possible.

Chaewon doesn't know if she had been rejected or not, does being left on read count as rejection? Would it be rude to stop by at her workplace and bring her flowers? What if she didn't like Chaewon anymore, what if she made things too awkward?

Chaewon's thoughts were interrupted when she felt a tap on her shoulder, "May I help you?" The woman asked with a welcoming smile. Chaewon exhaled at the realness of it all, she was really about to buy her too-close-to-be-best-friend-but-not-close-enough-to-be-girlfriend flowers, for what reason? To apologize? Well, no, what would Chaewon be apologizing for? To charm? That was too unlike Chaewon. She contemplates running out of the store, returning to her mattress to cry some more.

"Uhh... I- Do you have anything that says 'I am sorry but I don't know what I'm sorry for and I have really strong feelings for you but I don't know if they are mutual'?" Chaewon manages, thinking she went too fast, until the lady directs her to follow her.

"It's a bouquet of larkspur and hyacinth flowers, it represents sorrow and passion. Perfect for confessing love, so that just in case it goes wrong, you have the hyacinths working at your side," she picks up a bouquet and brings it near Chaewon's face, allowing her to look. The mix of the purples, blues, and pinks weren't too ambitious, and it seemed like a good bouquet to approach Jiwoo with. She'd love it, Chaewon knows.

She paid for the flowers and ran back outside, walking to the cafe Chaewon knew too well from constantly visiting Jiwoo in the past. The bouquet stayed at Chaewon's side as she neared the cafe, growing more fearful of Jiwoo's reaction.

Chaewon came to a halt, taking a deep breath before stepping towards the cafe, holding the bouquet endearingly at her chest. She pushed open the door, looking down at the bouquet. She felt overwhelmed by the intense scent of the florals, not used to it. But when she looked up, suddenly, all her previous thoughts disappeared.

Her mouth fell agape, arms falling slack at her sides. Her grip on the flowers loosened, as it fell into the ground. Chaewon was stuck in her shoes, she couldn't peel her eyes off the scene in front of her, despite hating what she saw so much.

Jiwoo was in someone else's arms, looking so happy. They were so close to each other, too, but Chaewon didn't even know the girl Jiwoo was with. Her face burned up with an unhealthy mix of rage, jealousy, and sadness. Her hands balled into fists so tightly she could feel her nails digging into her palm. Her lip quivered as she tried to control it by biting down onto it, but no matter what she could have done, she wouldn't have been able to stop the tears from falling out of her eyes. 

Chaewon ran out of the store before Jiwoo could catch a glance, and it all seems too familiar, now, as she remembers running away from Jiwoo the other night, too. Chaewon felt ashamed as she felt the wind in her hair, tears blurring her vision entirely, as she continued doing the only thing she knew how to do properly, run away.


	6. explaining

Jiwoo quickly looked up as she heard frantic footsteps leaving the cafe, yet the only thing she could catch was the bouquet of flowers that laid on the floor. Sooyoung looked back as well, confused as to why Jiwoo pulled out of her touch so quickly.

"What is it?" Sooyoung asked, looking at the bouquet. The mixture of the cool colors blended well with each other, and the arrangement was gorgeous. But Jiwoo was just as confused as Sooyoung, if not more.

Jiwoo released her hands from Sooyoung's, the loss of contact being almost painful. She began approaching the flowers, despite not knowing where they came from or who they're to. She knelt down and picked up the bouquet, nose immediately bombarded by the strong floral scents. They were beautiful, colors in varying shades of blue, pink, and purple. Jiwoo noticed a small card in the arrangement, at first assuming it to be a business card. But when Jiwoo picked it up, the handwritten words left her in shock.

_Hi Jiwoo,_  
I hope you like flowers. I also hope I didn't push you away by what I said last night. I meant it though, I do feel strongly for you in that way. But if you've moved on, I understand.  
-Chaewon 

"Is..." Jiwoo got startled by the sudden voice from behind her, as Sooyoung stood there, reading over Jiwoo's shoulders. "Is she your..." Sooyoung couldn't find the words, they were stuck in her throat as she felt a lump grow there. She swallowed harshly, biting her bottom lip in hopes to not expose her vulnerability to Jiwoo. But she couldn't deny it, she couldn't convince herself that she wasn't upset. That she wasn't upset at the thought of Jiwoo being in a relationship with another person, someone who wasn't Sooyoung.

It was silly, Sooyoung knew it. But she really did think that there could have been something special going on with her and Jiwoo, that one day it would be them two together. Sooyoung itched at her wrist, hating the way nature had to work. She pulled her already long sleeves down further, so that her entire hand was covered. She just wanted to forget about soulmates. So what if Jiwoo already knew hers, already was dating them? She hated the fact that they were provided a soulmate at birth. Why can't you just let love work it's ways naturally, where's the harm in that?

Sooyoung sighs, _heartbreak. There's the harm in that._ But was it really any different from what she was feeling now? She hadn't loved Jiwoo, it was far too early for that, but she would be lying to herself if she said she wasn't starting to develop feelings for her.

"Is she your girlfriend?" Sooyoung managed in a choked sob, fighting hard to not let the tears escape her eyes. It was the first time Jiwoo had seen Sooyoung without her smile. She didn't like it, it made her chest tighten with guilt, and maybe even the feeling she thought she had forgotten about. But this time, not towards Chaewon. This time, her heart hurt because of Sooyoung. Because of Sooyoung's trembling lips, how they quivered in fear of Jiwoo's response, because it was so likely that Sooyoung's willpower to not cry will break, as with her heart.

Jiwoo's mouth was open, expecting to deny Sooyoung's questions, to tell her Chaewon is a friend. But she wasn't. She wasn't a friend, but Jiwoo wasn't sure what exactly they were. Chaewon had rejected Jiwoo's confession at first, despite their mutual feelings, only to come back weeks later and confess her now stronger feelings. Jiwoo grabbed onto Sooyoung's hands, wanting to feel comforted, wanting to feel her warmth and safety as she found her voice.

"I..." Jiwoo's voice cracked, the lump in her throat growing uncomfortably large. But Sooyoung knew she already had her answer at Jiwoo's hesitance of a response. She slid her hands out of Jiwoo's slowly, wanting to relish the last of her touch. No matter how much she wanted to be with her, Sooyoung knew it was morally wrong to interfere with her relationship, even if it was indefinite.

"No, it's okay..." Sooyoung attempted a smile, but as her jaw started shaking and her eyes began to squint too much, and all of a sudden both of her hands, which used to enclose around Jiwoo's, were now covering her face, as she let the tears leave poisonous trails down her cheeks, knowing they were for Jiwoo. She knew it was too good to be true, that it would always end up being a false hope of true love.

"Sooyoung, please-" Jiwoo attempted before getting cut off.

"No, I get it. You guys are soulmates, right?" Sooyoung removed her hands from over her face but still couldn't make eye contact with Jiwoo, which was once so easy.

Jiwoo felt like everything was finally falling apart, and everything good she used to have was now gone. She had most likely just lost her best friend, if you could even call it that, probably her job, and even Sooyoung, now. Her teeth sank into her bottom lip as tears streamed down both the girls faces. Jiwoo was looking at her, looking for any sign of Sooyoung wanting to stay, to listen to Jiwoo, but the more she searched her expression, the more Jiwoo got the answer she was not looking for.

"Sooyoung..." Jiwoo says, but this time softer. "Could you please hear me out? Trust me, it's not what you think it is."

Sooyoung looked up at the feeling of Jiwoo's hand grazing Sooyoung's, still so warm. She wanted to forget everything that has happened in the past ten minutes and go back to where they had been, when Sooyoung was holding her close, when they were smiling in each other's embrace.

Sighing, Sooyoung gave in, "Okay... But please, tell the truth. I don't care if it hurts me, Jiwoo, I just want to know." Jiwoo nodded at this, readjusting her position on the floor as she took her free hand to wipe her face.

"Chaewon and I," Jiwoo begins without thinking. She didn't want to think, she just wanted to say. She didn't want to think because thinking leads to concealing, and Sooyoung admitted she wanted to hear this out unfiltered, and Jiwoo would give her just that. "We're best friends. Err- used to be? I'm not sure exactly where we stand now, but I don't want to think about it."

Jiwoo tried making eye contact with Sooyoung, but she was still looking down at Jiwoo's hand that laid over her own. "The more we hung out with each other... I realized that there was something unfamiliar growing with my feelings for her... Listen I've never fallen in love completely, but these feelings... I knew that it was growing into that. That I was falling in love with her." Sooyoung itched hearing those words, but remained collected.

"One day... I- I don't know what overcame me, but the situation felt so right, perfect, actually. We were at the park, sitting on the grass, under the moonlight," Jiwoo snickers sourly, "I still remember it... So well. I want to forget, I think. But there's also a part of me that doesn't." Sooyoung tensed under Jiwoo's loosening touch, to which Sooyoung scooted closer to her, to remain in her hand.

"I told her I was falling. She told me she was, too. And then..." Jiwoo inhaled sharply. "And then we kissed. At the time, it felt magical, but now... Her lips... I want to forget them, Sooyoung. They were sweet, like strawberries. Too sweet, maybe. But she left me, right after that. She left me because we're not soulmates, that we shouldn't fall in love with each other. It really broke my heart, seeing her leave," Jiwoo sighed, squeezing Sooyoung's hand.

"I didn't hear from her for three weeks. Then, she called. She told me to forget about that night, act as if we were still best friends. I agreed. Then, I went to work... And I met you, Sooyoung," Jiwoo smiled so warmly and genuinely, so when Sooyoung looked up to see that her heart fluttered. "And, I know it's kinda stupid, but the second I saw you I couldn't take my eyes off you. You're so pretty, Sooyoung. So perfect. And everything that happened that day felt so right. I didn't realize, but I forgot about Chaewon. My feelings for her. _Almost._ "

Sooyoung furrowed her brows in confusion at the last word. Almost? That means...

"I'm not done," Jiwoo cut off Sooyoung's thoughts, noticing her overthinking. "She texted me that night, that she has completely fallen. And I tried so hard to be happy, to feel what I previously felt and let a relationship sprout, but I couldn't revive those feelings. I don't know what happened when I met you... But after that, I just couldn't think about her that way anymore. Then, this whole mess happens, and I'm not sure why. But Sooyoung, please," Jiwoo cups Sooyoung's face with her free hand. "Believe me when I tell you that I don't feel that way to her anymore. I don't know what I feel for you, I... It's too early to say anything. But seriously, you're special to me. I value you."

Sooyoung smiled at her words, the last few tears streaming down her face, but this time, happily. She was relieved, maybe Jiwoo didn't have a secret lover. Chaewon wasn't her soulmate, either, so that gave Sooyoung more or less hope. "Me too, Jiwoo," Sooyoung leaned into Jiwoo's touch. "Me too."


	7. lips

Chaewon doesn't know why her feet are taking her to the place she learned to despise. She doesn't know why each step she takes there grows faster, as if she had anticipation to get there. She doesn't know why her feet were so eager to just _run_ , to feel the ground pounding against the bottoms of her shoes, to feel ache, to feel hurt. Wasn't she already experiencing enough of that?

Her legs felt like jelly but her feet insisted to move forward, not to stop or take breaks until she reached where they wanted. Her vision so blurred she didn't know if she was stepping on pavement or the road. But her feet kept going, going, going, _stop._

Chaewon blinked a few times, trying to regain her eyesight again, "Dammit," she cussed aloud, causing a few kids to turn their heads to her. Once she could finally see and the tears managed to escape, she felt betrayal. She felt betrayal, that she could just lead herself to the park like this, that she would ever do this to herself. Her steps were lifeless as she slowly got herself onto the grass, where she and Jiwoo once sat, where the night she only wanted to forget took place.

Her legs wobbled, feeling numb and limp until she they finally gave out, collapsing her onto the grass. It itched her skin, but no longer because she hated the prickly tops of the grass, but now because each prickle against her skin were needles injecting venomous memories into her, and all the things she could have forgotten came back to slap her in the face.

The fruity smell of Jiwoo's fragrance that night, the taste of her two lips on hers, the sight of Jiwoo under the moonlight, making her eyes twinkle even more. "God fucking dammit!" Chaewon's hands interlocked with her hair, pulling at her scalp. _Is this what being heartbroken felt like?_

And she laid there. She couldn't move, not even if she wanted to, which she wanted so badly. She wanted to run out of there, to find the comfort of her apartment again, to lay her face into her pillow and cry there. Instead, she was crying here, her face buried in her forearms. She couldn't feel anything, now. All emotions drained completely from her, washing out with her tears. Now, she could only _remember_ what it was like to feel.

\---

"Jiwoo," she felt a tap on her shoulder, causing her to look up. Once she saw Vivi's face, she knew what was coming next. _What are you doing? A customer could have came in, y'know? Get out of here._ But she forgot who her manager was. "You two want to have some time alone? I can take over, no worries. I just thought you guys should... you know... find out about each other?" Jiwoo smiled, remembering she didn't have just any manager. She had sweet-hearted cutie who would never say such mean things to Jiwoo.

"Is your manager setting us up on a date?" Sooyoung smiled, looking down at Jiwoo.

"I'm not complaining," Jiwoo smiled back at Sooyoung. They held each other's hands a little tighter as Jiwoo mouthed a 'thank you' to Vivi, getting dragged by Sooyoung out of the cafe.

It was beautiful outside, rays of sunshine beaming onto the girls' skin. The temperature was hot, no breeze or wind. The sun would be burning them right now if it wasn't for the fact that they were too distracted by each other.

Jiwoo smiled almost as brightly as Sooyoung as their hands tightened against each other. They started mindlessly walking, without a place to go in mind. They talked about seemingly unimportant topics, what they liked to eat, where they wanted to travel, what their favorite things were. Their arms swayed in between them, rocking back, then forth, then back again and forth.

Jiwoo doesn't know why she could be so willingly open towards Sooyoung. Normally, she was sheltered within herself, keeping lots of secrets and sharing little personal information. Hell, even Chaewon didn't know some of the things Jiwoo could so calmly tell Sooyoung!

The contact they had whenever they lightly brushed against each other's arms, despite holding hands, would make both of their faces flush red, feeling flustered at the small gestures. But they were so used to each other's hands, they intertwined so perfectly. Sooyoung wanted to explore everything else, every other beautiful inch of Jiwoo.

Her face, Sooyoung wanted to put her hands around Jiwoo's jaw and cup her face, to feel the weight of it in her hands. Her hair, she wanted to play with Jiwoo's hair and run her fingers through her scalp. She wanted to rub Jiwoo's shoulders, she wanted to grip Jiwoo's hips, she wanted to trace patterns on Jiwoo's thighs, wanted to know Jiwoo's body. But for now, her hands had to do.

Jiwoo felt the same, but she was so scared of opening up to the idea of what she was feeling. She wanted to run from it and escape it, she wanted to lock it up in her heart and forget how it feels, and to just enjoy this right now. And she was, she was enjoying this, but not in the way she was expecting. The more she knew about Sooyoung, about her liking for sushi, her aspiring modeling career, about her dog Haneul, her ups and downs and everything in between, the more she felt the lump in her heart grow. The same one she felt a month ago, the same one that she let burst too easily. So why is it already building up again?

Their steps were synchronized as their feet stepped a rhythm into the sidewalk. They kept walking, kept walking even when they found themselves walking along an empty field. Their hands still bounced, arms still swayed, legs still directing them no where, lips still curved into bright smiles, voices still rambling about nothing in general.

Despite all the silly and stupid questions of Jiwoo's being answered, Jiwoo still had one question burning through her mind, wanting that answer so desperately. Sooyoung made her forget about the pain of heartbreak, the pain of feeling unwanted, unloved. She made her happy when she felt like no one else could, but it couldn't be fate. It couldn't be fate because Jiwoo wasn't supposed to have a soulmate, wasn't supposed to feel love. She forgot about how Chaewon ran away from her that night. She forgot that rejection, because now she can only _imagine_ the kind of rejection she could face from Sooyoung. That was, if Jiwoo would ever allow herself to start to fall like that again. To trust herself with her feelings like that again.

The more Sooyoung went on about the things she wanted to do when she was older, her goals and her ambitions, the more Jiwoo had the urge to ask. To ask about her soulmate, the person who she'd be doing all these things with. She had to ask, had to. Unintentionally, she found her mouth start to open and cut off Sooyoung's speech.

"Have you ever met your soulmate?" She couldn't help herself, feeling the need to cover her mouth with her palm but resisting that urge in order to refrain from looking stupid. She felt butterflies in her stomach rise as Sooyoung made eye contact with her.

"Huh?" She furrowed her eyebrows confused as to what Jiwoo was asking or what she was trying to achieve by saying these things.

"Sorry... I was just, you know, curious. If you already knew your soulmate, because-"

"Jiwoo, I have not. Don't worry," Sooyoung smiled reassuringly, lifting a weight off of Jiwoo's shoulders.

Suddenly, Sooyoung's feet came to a stop, causing Jiwoo's to mimic the pause in movement. She looked up at her expectantly, to hear something about wanting to see if they were soulmates. Jiwoo had never seen Sooyoung's marking before, which raised her anxiety. What if she asked, wanted to see if they were soulmates with each other? What would Jiwoo say? Jiwoo has done an equally good job at hiding her wrist from Sooyoung, scared for her to realize what kind of sad, loveless person she really is. Or- is supposed to be. Her stomach fluttered and her chest tightened at their elongated eye contact, suspenseful for the next few moments.

But instead, the words that left Sooyoung's mouth shocked Jiwoo. "You said... earlier... that you wanted to forget Chaewon's lips, right?"

Jiwoo furrowed her eyebrows, staring at the other girl in oblivion, nodding her head slowly.

"I can help you with that."

Jiwoo's eyes widened at Sooyoung's sudden confidence, but even more so when she felt their lips connect. Those feelings she felt with Chaewon... She felt something similar to that, but so, so different. Maybe she couldn't put a finger on it, but she swore she could taste it on Sooyoung's lips.

The taste of falling in love.


	8. wrists

The kiss ended too quickly for Jiwoo, she wanted more. She wanted Sooyoung's lips again, to indulge herself in its flavor, how it left such a delightful sting on her lips. But Sooyoung smiled at her instead, not pulling in for another kiss, despite Jiwoo's small attempt.

Words were not needed for the moment they shared, both of them content with holding each other and staring into their eyes. Both wore stupidly giant grins, spreading ear to ear with flushed cheeks full of emotion. 

Jiwoo's chest had always been a cage. A cage in which her heart has hidden in, locked up. It seemed as if she could only give love, not receivable through the bars that blocked it. That's what she knew. That's what she was used to. It was always either heartbreak or personal denial for Jiwoo, as love would always be unwanted from the recipient- or herself, in cases.

But this felt different. This felt different, her chest felt different. More free. It was like Sooyoung had the keys to the cage surrounding Jiwoo's heart, because Jiwoo didn't feel something one-sided, now. She didn't feel like something was _wrong_ when she kissed her, like she shouldn't have done it. She didn't regret it this time. And by the smile on Sooyoung's face, Jiwoo knew she didn't, either.

Call her crazy, but Jiwoo thought for the first time that both parties had mutual feelings.

"Jiwoo... what time is it?" Her thoughts were interrupted by Sooyoung's sudden question. The sky was starting to get dim and Jiwoo assumed it was getting late. She never wanted this moment to end, she wanted to be held by Sooyoung forever. But obviously, she understands that Sooyoung might feel unprepared.

Jiwoo was prepared. She wanted this, she knew she did. She wanted to be able to fall for Sooyoung freely, but she understands Sooyoung might not feel the same. They've only just met days ago, right?

She gets it.

But she hoped that wasn't why Sooyoung asked for the time.

To get away from Jiwoo, to leave her behind. God, how many times are people going to leave Jiwoo behind?! Sooyoung wouldn't do that. Sooyoung enjoys Jiwoo's company. Right?

"Oh, uhh," Jiwoo shook away the thoughts and pulled her phone from her pocket. "Almost eight."

"Hmm," Sooyoung hummed, looking at the environment around them. "I was going to offer a trip to the park, but it might be getting a bit late..."

Jiwoo didn't know how to respond. _The park._ The place Jiwoo had almost forgotten. Where she'd been left, rejected. When she first trusted her heart with someone only to get it torn in two. She wanted to go, she really did. She wanted to go with Sooyoung and forget about all the memories she's had with Chaewon there. She wanted to kiss _Sooyoung_ there, wanted to remember how she tastes whenever she thought of the park.

Another part of Jiwoo fears going back to the park. She's not ready to go back, not emotionally prepared. Her feelings for Chaewon might have faded, but has her heart repaired? How was she going to act when she steps foot there again, what would happen? She doesn't want to go. But she really does, too.

"Sorry, I thought... I think you're great. But I get it if you don't like me, I just thought-"

"Let's go," Jiwoo held Sooyoung's wrist and looked sincerely into her eyes. She had to overcome this fear, had to let herself know that the park is more than a heartbreak. It's where so many important things happen to her, too. Jiwoo knew if she rejected the offer she'd regret that decision forever.

Sooyoung smiled at Jiwoo. How did she genuinely think she wasn't falling for her, too? That Jiwoo wasn't starting to feel things towards her. Sooyoung started walking, her feet finding rhythm with Jiwoo's. Sooyoung was sure she wasn't getting into this alone. That she wasn't falling into one-sided love this time.

The breeze hit their faces, as they continued to talk and talk and talk about their lives again. It feels like they've already told each other everything, but somehow they keep finding more to say. It isn't until it gets into compliment wars, _you're pretty. You're beautiful. Well you're gorgeous!_ when they arrive at the park.

Jiwoo let out a shaky exhale, "Here we are."

"Here we are," Sooyoung repeated.

"The park."

"Yep... The park..." Sooyoung continued, sensing unease in Jiwoo's voice. Every time she tried to step forward Jiwoo would place her feet harder on the ground, so Sooyoung couldn't take her into the field. Jiwoo couldn't form a full sentence, avoiding eye contact with Sooyoung. "You okay?"

"Huh? Oh," Jiwoo was pulled from her thoughts, feeling the almost forgotten night tingling back into her veins, the horrifying taste of strawberries taking place on her tongue. She was scared, she thought she got over this. She thought this entire thing was resolved, that she didn't care for Chaewon romantically anymore. Her throats tensed, she remembers how they sat on the grass, holding each other, sharing that _one_ kiss. The only one. So how did Jiwoo still remember every detail of her kiss so well?

"Sooyoung, kiss me," Jiwoo tugged on Sooyoung's sleeves that pooled at her wrists. 

"What?" Sooyoung's eyes grew wide in confusion.

"Kiss me." She wanted Chaewon's taste out of her mouth, she only wanted to remember Sooyoung's. Her mouth was burning, felt as if it was setting aflame.

"I..." Sooyoung stuttered, trying to pull her wrists back to her sides.

"Why?!" Jiwoo snapped, she needed to taste Sooyoung. Now. Everything from the other night was seeping into her senses, she wanted to forget it again. "Why won't you kiss me again?! Am I that revolting, that I am just totally unkissable?! You hated that kiss, didn't you? You came here to reject me, didn't you?! Fine, guess what,-!" Her speech was suddenly interrupted by Sooyoung placing her lips upon Jiwoo's passionately, kissing the words out of her mouth. It took a few moments for Jiwoo to register this before finally, hesitantly, kissing her back, already regretting her dramatic dialogue.

This kiss wasn't like the one she had with Chaewon. This kiss didn't taste like strawberries. Yet, it was so much better. She could taste _Sooyoung, Sooyoung Sooyoung Sooyoung. God,_ Sooyoung! She loved how Sooyoung's lips felt, loved her lips, her mind, everything. All that could run through Jiwoo's mind was Sooyoung's _beautiful_ , beautiful name, her beautiful face, beautiful, delicious, lips.

God, she loved this kiss.

Sooyoung was first to pull away for a breath of air before pushing herself back onto Jiwoo's lips, her own colliding with them. She liked kissing Jiwoo, it felt so natural, so right. But she knew she shouldn't have been doing this again, they've practically just met, yet they already knew each other so well. Was that right, was it okay to fall for someone you've just met? Because the more she kissed Jiwoo, the more right it felt.

"Jiwoo," Sooyoung exhaled heavily with the word, trying to catch her breath. Her forehead rested against Jiwoo's arms wrapped around her neck. "Let me see your wrist."

"Wha-What?!" Jiwoo pulled away slightly from Sooyoung's touch, scared again. It all felt too familiar, the feeling of upcoming rejection starting in Jiwoo's fingertips and going through her body.

"I want to see your soulmate marking."

"What... Why?! Why should it matter, can't we just... Can't we just do this?" Jiwoo tried desperately, but Sooyoung stayed persistent.

"It doesn't matter, Jiwoo. I just need to see..." Sooyoung stepped closer to her, only for Jiwoo to take another step back. "Can you?"

Jiwoo stayed silent. She knew this would happen. She knew Sooyoung was only hoping for a soulmate. Why couldn't she see this earlier? Her hand unconsciously moved to cover her already clothed wrist, giving it even more coverage. She knew this feeling all to well, and it was coming back to haunt her.

_Rejection._

"Jiwoo, why-"

"Go away," She back away slowly, as if Sooyoung was going to hurt her.

"Jiwoo, wait."

"No, Sooyoung," she got ready to start running. "I won't show you my wrist."

"But why?" Sooyoung took slow steps back toward her, working her way there in short paces. "Why won't you?"

Jiwoo inhaled sharply, stomach churning at the words she couldn't believe were about to come from her own mouth. "Because I don't have a soulmate!" She finally snapped, breath heaving excessively afterwards, as if she's just killed somebody.

Sooyoung stayed still, feet planted where she stood. She was in as much shock as Jiwoo, she wasn't sure if she heard her correctly. "You... you..."

Jiwoo shoved her blank wrist in Sooyoung's face, "Is _this???_ What you were looking for, hm? Tell me you're disappointed now, that you don't want me anymore," She snatched her wrist back to her side. "Go ahead. Fucking tell me, Sooyoung. I know that's what you're thinking."

"No, Jiwoo," Sooyoung licked her lips, slowly rolling up her sleeve. "That's not why I'm scared..."

"Huh..?" Jiwoo's stomach flipped as she watched Sooyoung slowly slide her sleeve up. She didn't know what she felt inside her chest right now, all she knew was that her heart was beating way too quickly.

She hesitantly and shakily brought her wrist up to Jiwoo's view, still in shock from the earlier sight. She revealed her blank wrist. "I don't have a soulmate, either."


	9. serendipity

Jiwoo stared at Sooyoung's wrist. She wasn't lying. It was blank. It was _blank_. Or maybe her eyes were deceiving her, maybe she wasn't standing in front of her soulmate. But she couldn't help but to think, maybe she wasn't meant to be alone. Maybe... Maybe she really was supposed to be standing in front of her soulmate right now. Her mind almost couldn't process the sudden turn of events.

All her life, she has grown to thought love was practically hopeless for her. That she had a blank wrist because no one could ever love her. That's all she's ever known, all she's used to. Love coming, then going. But never would she think it would be staying.

"I..." Jiwoo spoke without knowing what to say. It felt wrong to say nothing, to ignore her soulmate. _Wow,_ she never thought she'd be saying that, _her soulmate._ She smiled at the thought. Maybe love wasn't so hopeless after all.

She looked back down at her wrist, then at Sooyoung's, then her own. She was dreaming, she had to have been dreaming. She had ran out of tears from the amount of crying this night had brought her already, only choked sobs escaping her throat now. Jiwoo gently pulled Sooyoung's wrist into her palm, caressing the blank spot with her thumb.

"Are we..." Jiwoo began, not finishing before Sooyoung looked up at her and took the words from her.

"Soulmates," she smiled so warmly at Jiwoo. "Soulmates, we're soulmates, Jiwoo."

Jiwoo couldn't help her ear-to-ear grin at the word, "Say it again, I must be dreaming..." Her other hand met Sooyoung's cheek, wet from tears.

"You're my soulmate," they started closing the space that separated them, only inches apart now. "I'm your soulmate." Their lips barely brushed against each other's, feeling one another's warm breath upon their lips. Sooyoung could bask in her touch forever if she could, she loved the way her stomach unleashed butterflies every time she saw her. How her heart shot fireworks when she touched her, the beautiful colors of love exploding in her heart. It was blooming, they both knew it.

They were falling in love with each other.

And at that, their lips found each other's. Kissing the other like it was the last time they'd get to, the kiss meaningful and passionate. This kiss was so different from all their other ones, this one was so much _better._ It was emotional, it was full of love and affection, and if they didn't think they were falling before, they had to know it now.

"I'm falling for you, Jiwoo," Sooyoung said between kisses. "God, I'm falling for you." Jiwoo smiled into the kiss, her hand that enveloped Sooyoung's wrist traveling up to find Sooyoung's hair, playing with the soft strands. She traced patterns with her fingers into the nape of Sooyoung's neck, tilting her head to deepen the kiss. It was kind of her way of saying, _me too, Sooyoung. I'm falling for you too._

Jiwoo's chest was pounding, heart running a thousand miles a minute. She thought it could've jumped right out of her chest and into Sooyoung's hand if it wanted to, as it seemed it wanted Sooyoung so badly anyway. After all this time, all these years of pain and feeling like a misfit and feeling unloved, she's finally met her. Finally met Sooyoung, the girl who'd change Jiwoo's entire world. And Jiwoo changed Sooyoung's, too.

When they finally pulled away from each other, all they could do was stare into one another's eyes. "You're beautiful," Jiwoo would whisper. "I really am happy I met you."

Sooyoung laughed, "I can still picture it, you should've seen your face when you first saw me," Sooyoung brought a hand up to Jiwoo's face to cup it, her other wrapped around Jiwoo's arm. "You looked starstruck."

"I was," Jiwoo giggled, resting her face into Sooyoung's palm. "I really was."

And somehow, Jiwoo didn't feel lonely anymore. She felt completed, felt like a jigsaw puzzle that had always been missing a piece finally completed. She was found, Sooyoung had always held the other half of Jiwoo that she had needed. And to think it all came from one fateful trip to the cafe...

\---

"You know, I'll never forget that night," Sooyoung said, leaning over the counter to get a closer look at Jiwoo. She swirled her macchiato around, the hot steam hitting her face as she continued staring at Jiwoo, who was making an order for another customer.

"Here you go, sir," she smiled, handing the cup to the man. She waved to him as he walked out of the cafe, returning to her spot in front of Sooyoung, leaning in for a quick peck. "That was four months ago, Sooyoung."

Sooyoung chuckled softly, feeling Jiwoo push a strand of her hair behind her ear. "I still can't believe you're here, Jiwoo. That I really do have a soulmate..." She smiled warmly at Jiwoo before taking a sip of her drink.

"And I still can't believe you've come here everyday to order that damn macchiato, I think you love that drink more than you love me," She teased.

"But that's implying that I love you," Sooyoung added, laughing at the offended look on Jiwoo's face.

"Fine, I get it," Jiwoo was about to walk away before getting pulled back by Sooyoung, who no longer hid her wrist under long sleeves. Jiwoo turned to her and raised an eyebrow as if to ask her to say something.

Sooyoung rolled her eyes, wearing a stupidly large smile at the girl in front of her. She couldn't believe she was actually hers, all hers, no one else's. That Jiwoo was her soulmate, that her love was made for Sooyoung and vice versa. She still couldn't wrap her head around how she got to be with someone so beautiful, caring, sweet, amazing- the list could go on. She never took any moment with her for granted. "I love you."

"That's what I thought," Jiwoo stood proudly in front of Sooyoung.

"That's it?"

"And I love you, too," Jiwoo pecked Sooyoung's lips again as the door to the cafe opened again. Ever since that night, Jiwoo would never have to feel lonely again. Because now, she didn't have to be loveless. Now, she could always feel loved. Loved by the person she loves, by the girl who's always had her heart since then. The past few months she's spent with Sooyoung have by far been the best, she's never been quite as happy as she's been with Sooyoung. No one can really make her smile like she can.

And once her shift was over, she ran to Sooyoung and took her hand, holding it tightly in her own as they walked to her car. She felt the warmth radiating off Sooyoung's skin, the never ending love that bursts out of her heart for her, too. She really loves her. She's a complete fool for Sooyoung, and the same for both girls with the other. Call it a turn of events, or foolish young love, Jiwoo always knew it was serendipity.

She got into their apartment, slipping under the sheets with Sooyoung, wrapping her in her arms. _There will always be a fault in the system..._

_And luckily, it had to be me._


End file.
